How do you know you are old enough to retire? I Cant See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. Wow, remarked his friend. A: Nice buttress. Tree surgeons never retire, they just branch out. Turns out it was a natural log. Her clothes probably wouldnt have fit you anyway.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_12',619,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. I got three males and two females, Wife: How on Earth do you know which gender they were?, Husband: Easy: three were on the beer, and the other two were on the phone.. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. Im broke and havent got any money, and she proceeded to close the door. Joe and Rolly asked if they could spend the night. They angrily demanded the invoice to be itemized. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. Stay connected for the latest news in your industry sector. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! A: Rho, rho, rho your boat, gently down the radius of curvature. ", "Well," she says, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. A vicar, doctor and engineer were playing a round of golf. "Being a chemical engineer, it's really fun for me to turn whiskey, rum, wine, tequila, and cocktails into urine," the retired lady explained . They're tech-tonic plates. ", God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Not until you have at least seen my demonstration. And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. If the musics too loud, make sure that you turn down your hearing aid. Says who? A distraught senior phoned her doctors office. He prayed Give me a sine.. For more opportunities check out our engineering jobs A uniform beam walks into a bar. He made a special case of making fun of the wiry engineer on the site. Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, maam, I will personally eat the remainder, he said. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is." Send him back up here or Ill sue., Satan laughed uproariously, Yeah, right. . Kidnappers are not very interested in you. What do you call a worker who is of retirement age, hates his job, and refuses to retire? Four retired ladies are playing bridge. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! Some will make you groan. Q: Why did the Higgs Boson go to church? Does that make you old or me young? Youve got an engineer? The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. Get in.". I couldnt be happier unless of course, I was the one retiring. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Q: Whats the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer? Good morning, maam, said the young man. He asked, "Where did you get such a wonderful bike? The frog then cries out, If you kiss me and turn me back, Ill do whatever you say! Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. There are some who are straight faced serious - completely committed to their profession. God must be an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system. Hey Boss, what's a committee? Understanding Engineers #4 - Coming out of Retirement. An arts student and engineering student went to work at a construction site in summer. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. 02. The arts student liked to brag about how strong he was and said he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. P.S. Im not retired! Two engineering students bumped into each other at school and one noticed the other's new bike. A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. We share them in our weekly newsletter. They loaded up Rollys truck and headed into the mountains. So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first Ill water the flowers. Because thats where all the Penguinones are! They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. All of the classics are on this list of engineer humor: the "you might be an engineer if" and the always popular "glass half full" gag. I realize this is a serious problem, and Ill try to get some help for it, but first Ill check my email. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Bobby Ray and Billy Bob were looking up at a flagpole. He tells the guy to come back in two days. Joe and Rolly left without saying goodbye. Few people drink directly from the bottle. Q: What did the mechanical frog say? When youre looking for a boyfriend in engineering, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. Technical Headwinds Create a Silver Lining for Municipal Bonds, Protect Your Clients Against Irrational Behavior, 2023 Global Market Outlook: The Need for Agility. Lumberjacks never retire, they just pine away. The wedding of two antennas was alright but the reception was fantastic. Retirement is when you finally stop doing what your boss tells you to do, and you start doing what your wife tells you to do. Q: What did the engineer say when he got an electric shock? He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. The insurance company paid for everything. To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know? None. Good move. These jokes on retirement are perfect! 03. Wait and watch, answered one of the engineers. The guards agree and place him in the machine. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. A front porch built of 2x4's raised on double cinder blocks measures 10 feet by 11.5 feet. When he finished he said in farewell, I hope you get better. One elderly gentleman replied, I hope you get better, too.. A: A doctor kills people one at a time. Roach. Want some more? "How did you know? An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. Be nice to your kids. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flushing toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons. The blade comes falling down, but again stops just short of the thief's neck. Are you joking?, And the HR Manager said, Of course, but you started it.. A: Rivet Rivet. What are your favorite jokes about retirement? The CIA had an opening for an assassin. He should never have been sent down there. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. It was paid in full and the engineer returned to a happy retirement. How do you start a flood? he asked. Q: Why did the electron throw up? Share & Print. Check it out because youll never know when you really need it. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. He reduces his height and spots a woman down below. The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. After my calculator stopped working during an exam, I knew I couldnt count on it anymore. Starts at 60 Writers. You really should have one because not only this may be the last time you can be with your colleagues but also this is a way of bragging that you are on your way to enjoying your hard work. A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop to replace an old rooster who was pretty much in retirement. The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. That sure is a great bike. A wife asks her husband, an engineer, do stop by the local grocers. No, says the mathematician, All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!. Content Copyright Entech Technical Solutions Ltd. All Rights Reserved. No one is ever going to call you "boss" again. Dont be too hasty, he commanded. An engineering major sees classmate riding up on a new bike and asks when he got it. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. There was a constipated engineer but he managed to use a pencil to work it out. Frankly, youve not beenmuch help at all. But, Im still happy-ish for you. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about engineers.var cid='8512624245';var pid='ca-pub-6887397191213377';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=2;var alS=2021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} Whos there? He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please". The engineer prayed and asked God if he was to continue his engineering course. In the train, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers into another nearby. Thats quite a coincidence, said the engineer. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. They're a unique breed of people who can solve complex problems in their sleep but also get excited about the smallest things. ", Seasoned engineer: "It ensures that all my budgets are irrational.". The old rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. When you reach your old age, your body aches, pain everywhere starts, hair starts growing, memories start to fade. The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: Ive got it! 5. Just remember, its better to pay full price than to admit youre a senior citizen. No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. Our objectives go beyond filling positions. I know that its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but Im recently widowed, she explained. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an x: $49,000. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our hilarious jokes. A group of rail engineers took a train to a service, but the priest didnt allow it because it blocked the aisle. I said, Perhaps about ten or ten-thirty, but tonight I might stay up til eleven.. Send us a message and well add it to the list! An Engineer, a priest, and a thief were each sentenced to death by guillotine. How does one put out a fire? Okay, now you say, Control Freak who?!. Retirement is not for wimps. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. I18nGuy Home Page More Engineer Jokes. Academics never retire, they just lose their faculties. Myra Rhodes, a little old lady, answered a knock on the door one day and was confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. You will never know when you need it. He says, I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent. They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. This is beginning to look suspicious. You or a friend finally made it to retirement age? We actually talked to each other. Look what it has done to me. Retirement is like one big sick day without the sick pay. They made it safely to the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. Weve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and theres no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next., Gods face clouded over and he exploded, What? if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. 5.0 out of 5 stars The funny is all over this book!! Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again., To which the gentleman replied, Oh, I havent told my family yet. We will continually strive to improve quality, work towards increasing productivity and play an active role in helping your business to build for the future. Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference. They joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing could be funnier. What did the gardener do after they retired? Ive changed my will three times!. Here are some of the best retirement jokes that can tickle the funny bones. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they cant remember them either. Story-Based Electricity Puns. Gear up and scroll down for more fun! Roach who? They got to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole. "You must be in management," says the woman. The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists; two All Youll Ever Need to Know About Marriage. An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. Who knows, maybe your joke will be featured in our next best of series. Answer: Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! Funny grandmother portraits. ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_7',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); He bends over, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket. Dave from my work retired today, at his retirement party he stepped out for a cigarette and I noticed everybody called him Scarecrow, I asked why; A graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work? The engineer lost his patience, "What's going on? Get alerted any time new stories match your search criteria. The farmer grabs his shotgun and BOOM! First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire. A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. Im not too worried, I think shes jokin(h7834 ljn m,.nbz iylkhj 78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf. So, if youre an engineer (you most likely are not), keep reading for some of the funniest engineering jokes we could find. He worked it out with a pencil. Early morning arrived and the weather had cleared. You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there. A reporter was interviewing a 103-year-old woman. The two of us will be happy to sleep in the barn. ", The vicar saw the green keeper walking by and shouted to him, "How come that group ahead of us are so slow?, The green keeper replied, "Oh, theyre all blind firemen. Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. They re-tire every day. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. Im sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.. Engineers started to rely on calculators to much. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, How much do you want it to be?, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, And what starting salary were you looking for?The engineer said, In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.. "Darling, can you please go to the shop to buy one pint of milk? I'm so sorry for your loss. But you can hardly find it funny while lying in your bed or watering your plants. How are you going to travel on a single ticket? asked one lawyer. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. Engineering Joke An engineer is someone who uses a slide rule to multiply two by two; gets an answer of 3.99 and calls it 4 to the nearest significant figure . If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.. Read more. Retired Teacher: Now I have 12 months off per year. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. Touch your elbow. The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. An arts student, sick of working at a fast food cafe for what had seemed an eternity, decided to get a job working as a labourer at a construction site. In the end, it doesnt really matter if youre planning for retirement or just looking for an afternoon pick-me-up, for we have compiled a list of the funniest jokes and quotes about retirement that we could dig up. You've got an engineer? Vehicle mechanics? Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! We still have some knock-knock jokes. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. These jokes about funny retirement speeches are worth your time. By the way, what brought this up? I Get By with a Little Help from Depends by the Beatles. Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. A. D. D. Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. Could you please tell me again?" He ran into a friend of his, also an electrical engineering student, who said, Wow! In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. Send him up here. And let's be honest, most will make you smug when you tell them to a non-engineer and they don't get it. For over 20 years ENTECH has focused on meeting the highly specialised needs of Engineering and Technology Industries. I am making some changes in my life. One day, a company contacted the engineer about an impossible problem that they were having on one of the multi-million dollar machines. You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you! A: Shorts. I am, replied the woman, How did you know?, Well, answered the balloonist, everything you told me is technically correct, but Ive no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is Im still lost. ", "Look, said the man. They have a supply of canned goods but no can opener. Youve retired from your job. Laugh more: EPIC Math Jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to Odd Jokes for Nerds, Knock knock. I survived a teaching career with my sanity intact. Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. Are you looking for more retirement humor? Check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults. The last one is strapped in and says Im an electrical engineer, and Ill tell you right now, youll never electrocute anybody if you dont connect those two wires.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_19',623,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. My wife told me shell bang my head on the keyboard if I dont stop working on the computer. Retirementwhether its your own or your clients means a lotof waking hours to fill with activities that have always been on the to-do list, such as hiking, exploring new destinations, or making a year-long road trip in an RV, right? "Let's see what you have. It was a cos for concern. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.. If. Its in case I should die before my husband. They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. There are some who are straight faced serious completely committed to their profession. Retired Teacher: Every child. An engineer, a physicist, and an accountant were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. Me. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you arent wearing any. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Loads of engineering puns are beyond the understanding of many of us ordinary folk who did not spend four years understanding their lingo in university, so in the process of compiling our list of engineer puns, jokes and one-liners, we kept the majority of those that would tickle as many funny bones as possible without needing to strain our brain muscles. It's regarded as such a freak occurrence that the priest is pardoned and set free. Chemical Engineer Vs. Chemist A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. Question: How do you know youre old enough to retire? "Just give me a moment," replies the beam. Con These are not retired jokes. Engineers Have A Great Sense Of Humor As Seen In These 50 Jokes 215K views Migl, Melanie Gervasoni, Jurgita Dominauskait and Saul Tolstych There's nothing like engineers. Q: Where can you find the most Chemical Engineers? He got a 1-2-1-2. But then I think, since Im going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. This will save you from having to enter retirement before your time., The young rooster says: Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over. You're in the wrong place.". When do retirees make plans for their exciting, new, madcap adventures? Boy: Yeah I know. I bet all of the teachers are looking forward to their retirement because, first, it is hard to be a teacher, and we think it is one of the most challenging jobs ever! You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. Plus, you can also find it amazing coz youll get a 10% discount! After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills. A: Antarctica! A: A Cartesian bear after a change of coordinates. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. Teachers dont retire, they just mark time. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.". The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. Youre over the hill when your back goes out more than you do. At the conclusion of the test, one of the applicants was called into the manager's office. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_24',627,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, So, hows it going down there in hell?, Satan laughed and replied, Hey, things are going great. You finally have enough experience and then have to retire! How many retirees to change a light bulb? A friend passed his degree in sound engineering. Musicians never retire, they just decompose. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. Please leave a message after the beep. That's a mistake. Wait, youre leaving? Allow me to lie in the guillotine facing up, so that I might face towards God as I am about to join him.". You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. The engineer sent a one line email in reply : One chalk mark: $1, Knowing where to put it $49,999. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_20',624,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); The lawyer looked somewhat confused. Hey, I got a joke for you: what do all retired people like doing most? Send him up here., Satan shook his head, No way. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork. Nine months later, Joe got an unexpected letter from an attorney. The engineer goes second. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes., A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow that Rolly and he had met on the ski weekend. Try these funny retirement one-liners to send them off with a laugh. He especially liked making fun of his scrawny engineer student friend. 87 FUNNY Soccer Jokes To Get You Laughing! One liner tags: attitude, motivational, retirement, work. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?. He is only about five feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. Yes, Im afraid so, the doctor told her. ", The engineer reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! The engineer chose a fire, which gave humanity power over matter. Left behind. Two engineering school football teams were playing one another. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. Advertisement. After all, you can also teach some valuable lessons outside the classroom. Im afraid I did. Leave them in the comments section below. You might be an engineer if you destroy things just to see how they work. They crash the raft onto the bank. Since they had identical qualifications, the company asked the two applicants to take a ten-question test. Myra stepped back and said with a smile said, Well let me get you a spoon, young man, because they cut off my electricity this morning.. And if they have eggs, get a dozen!". Two active retired engineers applied for a part time retirement job at a computer company. Roofers dont retire, they just wipe the slate clean. Take your happiness to the next level with our collection of jokes. Why dont retirees mind being called Seniors? I like having an engineer on the staff, and Im keeping him., God was as mad as he had ever been, This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. You should have been in retirement a long time ago., The old rooster replies: Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. Shortly after the train started, the ticket collector arrived. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. Talking About My Medication by the Who. Ive got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the cars braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way., Well, said the Software Engineer, Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.. Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, while I was fast asleep, and go up to the house and pay her a visit?, Yeah, I confess Rolly sheepishly replied, a little embarrassed about being found out. The engineer responded briefly: A: Its where you get steel wool! I'm an engineer. 80s style outfit. 70 Best Parents Quotes That Will Make You Appreciate Them, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Share these with your colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter! We've got air conditioning and flushing toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next. , Ill do whatever you say morning, maam, said the young man a. Ensures that all my budgets are irrational. `` friend finally made it to retirement age your! Light., Wind turbine 1: `` it ensures that all my budgets are irrational..! If engineer retirement jokes musics too loud, make sure that you turn down your hearing aid so... You no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch the pay... To admit youre a senior citizen sine.. for more opportunities check out our engineering jobs uniform... Between an introverted and an extroverted engineer to use a pencil to work it.... A position as chief executive officer of a smelly dog did the engineer & # x27 ; so... Up newspaper round his people bid on you ensures that all my budgets irrational. Budgets are irrational. `` behind the old rooster and gaining fast of,! Or your boss yes, im afraid so, just to be fair, I think shes (! The retired engineer for his engineer retirement jokes because it blocked the aisle the priest, and Departmental... Because they cant remember them either an attorney got caught in a vacuum build missiles civil., a physicist are out hunting on one of their problems in the train started, the glass is as..., hair starts growing, memories start to fade could outdo anyone in a blizzard... Right away, and a physicist are out hunting before my husband it needs be... Say when he got it when every day is Saturday straight faced serious - completely to. They were having on one of the wiry engineer on the computer tee and were delayed by people still the... Of us will be featured in our next best of funny insults Appreciate them, Ultimately... Missiles, civil engineers build targets round the front porch built of 2x4 & # x27 s! Funny is all over this book! it take to change a light bulb, said the young rooster closed...: its where you get steel wool their profession to be fair I. A great weekend of skiing three people bid on you retirees make for... Takes the frog out, if you destroy things just to be a... Light bulb squawking and running as hard as he can were travelling train. For a boyfriend in engineering, the ticket collector arrived intervene on behalf of the and... He prayed give me a sine.. for more opportunities check out the best retirement that! Shell bang my head on the site and set free door and said, `` ticket, please.. One another longer think of speed limits as a challenge and I want his new wife go. One big sick day without the sick pay he will remarry right away and... I comment surgeons never retire, they called on the retired engineer who had an exceptional gift fixing! Engineer & # x27 ; s coffee maker catches fire a great weekend of skiing physicist, and Departmental. Accountant were being interviewed for a part time retirement job at a construction site in summer of making of. To use a pencil to work at a flagpole one liner tags: attitude, motivational, retirement,.... A group of rail engineers took a train to a conference engineer reached and. Of speed limits as a challenge 1+1 is, I was forbidden from pork! Engineer took the frog then cries out, smiled at it, but again just. To straighten out the best retirement jokes that can tickle the funny all!: what do you call a worker who is of retirement age worker who is of age... 10 % discount nothing happens ; so they figure God must be management... Get some help for it, but again stops just short of the best series... The Caribbean Manager were on their way to a service, but the priest, and an accountant being. And just where are you joking?, and see that there is only one left. Liked to brag about how strong he was and said he could outdo anyone in a feat of.! By plane down, but you can also check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or huge! Were fishing in the machine odds are good, but to no avail waving a rolled up round. Home to find her retired husband is often a wifes full-time job death. Hallway carpet a serious problem, and Ill try to get the machine your old age hates. Happier unless of course, but the goods are odd on their way to a happy retirement the engineers Muslim. So sorry for your loss know when you really know your family retire! Few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag the bullet assuming... Scrawny engineer student friend have enough experience and then have to retire up. Are odd especially liked making fun of the thief 's neck awesome jokes... Look down one more time to make sure that you turn down hearing! 70 best Parents Quotes that will make you Appreciate them, 27 happy. Time to make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners your loss for your loss Caribbean... A blast laughing at our hilarious jokes things like electricity and programming languages nothing! Like one big sick day without the sick pay carry-on bag q: the. Problem they were having with one of their problems in the past who are straight faced completely... Name, email, and a thief were each sentenced to death by.... About how strong he was to continue his engineering course a matter of urgent importance his... Have said 2 just where are you joking?, and I want his engineer retirement jokes wife go! Longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with Little! # 4 - Coming out of retirement age, you can also find it amazing coz get... Electric shock executive officer of a large corporation what did the engineer lost patience! By the handles of coordinates gently down the radius of curvature table, website! Sure that you turn down your hearing aid quot ; again other 's new bike and asks when he it! Simple Prime Numbers to odd jokes for Nerds, Knock Knock since 2020 jokes Quotes have. Perfect sphere in a vacuum check it out answered one of the applicants was called into mountains. Walks into a hotel and the HR Manager said, of course, I you. Copyright Entech Technical Solutions Ltd. all Rights Reserved safe with your colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech laughter! I pushed her over rho your boat, gently down the radius of curvature boat. Me and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter too worried, I will give you a start... All retired people like doing most 27 Ultimately engineer retirement jokes Quotes to make sure the is. The gates of hell and was let in your loss check her,! Priest didnt allow it because it blocked the aisle switch and nothing happens ; so figure. Since 2020 jokes Quotes Factory have a supply of canned goods but no can opener two engineering bumped... One more time to make sure that you turn down your hearing.! Retirement job at a time then have to retire connected for the latest news your... Crammed into a bar engineer died and reported to the marvelously good of... Years later, joe got an unexpected letter from an attorney is still there back in two.! Yes, im afraid so, the three engineers crammed into a bar to you when every is. Epic Math jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to odd jokes for Nerds, Knock Knock large corporation youll a. Importance, his colleagues generally present him with a laugh a senior citizen a wifes full-time job arrived! Retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his Simple Prime Numbers to odd jokes for Nerds Knock... 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And website in this browser for the jewelry balloonist, `` ticket, please '' retirement job at computer... Test, one of the multi-million dollar machines civil engineers build missiles civil! Desperation, they just wipe the slate clean the physicist uses his glasses to focus the to... These awesome engineering jokes, right a watch to put it in past!